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I love computers for the most part. Well, I love computers when they work. Late one night I composed a Facebook status
that was actually to be profound, to encourage conversation, and most of all,
so I will remember the night’s thought in the morning. I typed the thought into my phone hit “post”
and it did not go through, nor did it save the few words. No problem, I thought; I will type it
again. Thus it began, but the second
word I could not spell. No problem, the
phone can help me correct it; but not this time. I wasn’t close enough to get a correct
suggestion. I was not worrying yet, for
this has happened many times before. I
have been known to change entire sentences to avoid figuring out a spelling,
but tonight, it was important to me to get the thought out as it had come to
me. I tried numerous times on the phone,
and switched to my computer--surely I will have better luck with greater
suggestions. However, this word as I was
trying to spell it was not coming up as a suggestion. I could feel the rest of the thought escaping
me. I was greatly frustrated, and very
scared. I went to an online dictionary,
but for whatever reason the connection was slow, and/or I was making mistakes, and
I was crying. I was just about to
hyperventilate.
You may say this happens to you as well, nothing to worry
about, and in some sense you are correct.
However, if you recall I typed this word correctly without issue before
the computer glitch that did not post it, and within an instance I had no idea
how to spell this simple word. One
moment I knew, and the next moment, even with the help of technology, I
couldn’t even come close to that word. I
began to question the existence of this word while losing my thought.
I share this as a person that has “overcome” my
dyslexia. I have a Bachelor’s of Art and
Masters of Divinity Degree. I preach,
teach, write, and yet my learning disability can still bring this 17 stone man
to tears. I realized how my brain is not
wired like most. I then thought of my
four-year-old son who has autism, who does not communicate much, and very
little with the spoken word. Who rarely
plays with others or toys. Who has known his alphabet since he was 20 months
old. Who is generally always happy and
loving.
My breakdown reminded me of the days as a child struggling
to read, knowing I was smart, but having such an issue reading. Of course, with all the extra help I did
begin to read, and even enjoy it. I
became not only an avid reader, but the captain of the debate team in high
school--but not without help. And while
I had a lot of struggles, my different way of thinking was very helpful to
getting complex ideas in philosophy, the social sciences, and eventually
theology. I know my son’s road may seem
steeper, and I know there will be real tears for him and for us, his parents
(and good teachers) we will also appreciate the connections we could never make
that he will know as normal.
Today we dropped our son off at his “special” pre-school
class that he had visited once last week, and we were early, so we waited to
give the teacher her time. He pulled on
the door and pushed his mother to the door, he was so excited to go to
school. That is the desire about
learning that I hope to maintain with him, even when he has set-backs and
obstacles because of the way he processes information. Most of all, I will want him to know that
even after you have “overcome” whatever syndrome or disability, it is going to
surface, just as it does for me.
However, without it, I would not know myself or what I know of life, for
it is truly part of my personality, knowledge, and thus my very self.
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